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The Coming Battle.

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  Though I post my blogs back-to-back most times, I do not write them that way. Yes, I have a tendency to put everything off till the last minute, and yes, I quite often find myself sitting in front of my computer for hours on Sunday trying to complete all the things I have put off all week. That being said, let's get back to why I am actually writing this, before I go off on a tangent about ADHD and procrastination. That will come in a future blog, just not now. This blog is about the stresses I have had to face lately and how it has affected my ADHD. If you read the blog, I posted previous to this one you will understand some of what I have been dealing with and why I am writing this one. While I will not elaborate further on the details of my past and why they cause me such anguish to have to re-live them, I will tell you that my life to this point seems as if it has been one battle after another, with little to no rest in between. The stresses of my childhood combined with thos
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And so, it begins....

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  What do you do when your life decides to throw you such a curve that your ADHD goes spiraling completely out of control?  That's the question I found myself faced with this last week and I'm going to be honest, I don't have the answer. To give a little background on how this all came to pass, I'll take you back to this Tuesday 11/2/2021.  What was supposed to be a routine visit for an intake to see a counselor and get them to confirm to my new doctor that I do in fact have ADHD, turned into a trip down the rabbit hole that is my past. As all counselors do, this one wanted to "know more about me to better assess the kind of help I need" which turned into a 2-hour long conversation with 3 different people, including a crisis counselor, all wanting to go digging into the past that I have long since tried to bury. It brought forth the demons and monster I once thought slain, all roaring back to life like something out of a horror movie!  Needless to say, these e
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Fight through or Crash!

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  I started this blog and a couple of social media sites in hopes of helping others understand the mind of someone with ADHD by using my own personal experiences. However, I'm feeling like it's all a big waste of time. No one is following the social media accounts I set up, no one reads the blogs. Which really begs the question, why the hell am I bothering? I could say I'm doing it in hopes that I may still reach someone, that maybe someone who needs to hear this stuff will stumble across one of my blogs and it will really help. I could also say it's therapeutic for me, writing down my thoughts. Both those explanations would be total bullshit. I continue to write blog posts because I have to. You see this is something I have started that I want to see through, unlike so many other projects that I've simply gotten bored with and thrown aside. I want to push past the boredom, the overwhelming urge to just say screw it I don't have time for this and move on to some
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Operation Overload.

  So for some reason I thought I could balance out working full time and going to school online, all while taking care of home life and spending time with my son. While this may seem simple enough to most, remember I'm not your average "most" My ADHD has been raging out of control for months now with no sign of slowing down. I don't sleep without some form of sleep aid and when I do finally get to sleep I don't want to get up in the morning. My mind is constantly in a state of indecision about everything, I can't remember fuck all, and on top of all that I am working an average of 48-56 hours a week while still expected to maintain the same workload as a full time student.  I am by no means admitting defeat, I will not surrender and I will not go down easy. I am determined to figure out how to make this work. ADHD will not defeat me, I will adapt and overcome. I have goals that must be accomplished. I have a son that looks to me for an example and who counts o
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The First of Many, The Last of Some.

 First I would like to say hello and welcome to everyone that actually took the time to come check out my blog. This blog will be the first of many covering the topic of my personal struggle with adult ADHD.  I have had ADHD for as long as I can remember. However, I didn't find out I had ADHD until around the age of 30. My uncle, who has also had ADHD since he was a kid, told me he always knew I had it and tried to tell my mom who thought "I was just a hyper boy, doing what hyper boys do". So needless to say she never brought it up with my pediatrician and therefore I was never officially diagnosed.  I found out many years later from a psychiatrist that I went to see after my father passed away. Come to find out that all the learning issues, moodiness, memory retention issues, and general inability to sit still or focus on anything for more then 5 minutes was all due to a thing called ADHD. As she started explaining the shall we call them "side effects" of ADHD,
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